“It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
Cause every now and then I kick the living sh*t out of me”
Who can relate these lyrics? For the most part, we do everything we can to be our best self. However, there will be times when we are our own worst enemy through self-sabotaging behavior.
However, there are techniques that prevent this type of behavior. One of the most useful techniques is limiting our own negative talk.
A mentor once told me, is impossible to get away from your own mind, thus what we are saying to ourselves on a daily basis dictates our perception of reality. Self criticism is ok when it is used for self improvement. Nevertheless, draw a line with yourself to keep the self critique from becoming emotional self abuse.
How do we get to that point of knowing when to stop?
Self-awareness of thoughts.
A great practice of self awareness and thoughts is through mindful mediation and listening to how we talk to our selves. If you sit in a quiet space to analyze the tone of your thoughts; ask yourself if would you talk like this to someone you love dearly?
For the most part, when someone we love comes to us for advice or guidance we are stern but tender with the message we give them. This is how we should treat ourselves when we are replaying an incident or an event that did not go the way we had hoped.
Being stuck in a cycle of negative talk and what if’s, is a dangerous carousel that only leads to misery.
So for the upcoming 40 days, starting on February 26, I challenge you, the reader, to be aware of your self talk and ask yourself would I talk like this to a stranger or someone I love dearly?
If the answer is no, then accept your own message and change the tone from negative talk to accepting the situation and then working through those emotions.
This type of loving kindness has helped my own sanity, and also made me a better clinician, friend and husband.
Like Ellen says, “Be kind to one another” and that includes yourself.